I Love Bad Fanfiction
by Fancy Pants Penguin Jiao-Jie
Summary: Do YOU get tired of seeing the same stories over and over again? Sick of Mary Sues? Strange cross-overs? Do you like parties? Yes? Then come inside! This is my I Love Bad Fanfiction party and everyone is invited! An Inspired by Fire story!
1. Intro

**A/N:** This is inspired by an idea from Fyre's Guide to Creativity (found in my favorites) which is written by one of my very first FFN friends, Fyre! Again, I don't mean to hurt anyone's feelings if you've written a story like this; this is just for fun to show some of the ideas that I think are used WAY too often on FFN.

Hurt feelings are absolutely not allowed at this party. We need to be able to laugh at ourselves, right?

On to the story!

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><p><strong>I Dare You…<strong>

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><p>"I presume—" Jiao-Jie started. Unfortunately she was abruptly reduced to shrieking by a wailing winged-lemur who attached himself to her head, scratching and clawing at her hair.<p>

"Come here Momo," Aang called. The lemur hissed at the author and flew to his friend. The girl stood still, breathing hard with her face covered in scratches.

"I presume you know why I've called you all here today," Jiao-Jie said again after composing herself. She pushed her hair out of her eyes and cleared her throat, adjusted her plastic glasses (for emphasis) then scanned the room of characters. Ty Lee stood beside her looking as unhappy as someone who was perpetually smiling could look.

"No?" one character replied.

"Not really, no," called another.

"You didn't really tell us," concluded a third.

"Okay, okay!" the author exclaimed, "I guess you don't know why I've called you all here." She adjusted her clip-on tie. "As you all know, in chapter twenty eight of Fyre's Guide to Creativity someone dared Ty Lee to throw an 'I love bad fanfiction' party…and since in order to do that in story form she needed an author, here I am."

Every person, fictional or nonfictional, in the room groaned.

"Well, that is exactly what I plan to do!" Jiao-Jie slammed her fist down on the table she stood beside. "Ouch…Anyway, we're going to have a chapter for as many different kinds of bad Avatar fanfiction as I can think of…and since you all have to act out everything that I write I figured I should let you know what I'm getting you into."

"Please tell me you're not going to—" Zuko started.

"Yes, yes I am. There will be one chapter of horrible, terrible, over the top Zutara that is such a combination of cheesy and sweet it will make you gag." She took a sip of the tea near her right hand. "OOH, Iroh that really _is_ that best tea I've ever had."

"I told you it would be!" Iroh replied jovially over his nephew's protests.

"COME ON. In the time it takes you to write a satirical Zutara chapter there are going to be at least fifty _real _ones published and we have to act those out too," Zuko explained, glaring at both Ty Lee and the author. Azula's evil cackle floated from somewhere in the back of the crowd.

"Yeah, give us a break," Katara said with a matching glare. "It's getting really awkward."

"No can do, guys. Despite our best efforts people are _still_ writing this stuff. We need to make them stop by showing them how silly it looks and how all you characters feel about it, am I right?" asked Jiao-Jie.

"RIGHT!" Ty Lee jumped in, with a real jump for emphasis. Everyone turned to look at her. "What, I haven't said anything yet…I felt left out."

"Listen guys, I just wanted to tell you what's going to happen so that you don't hate me for making you play out these plot lines yet again," the author said sadly, flipping open her laptop and opening the list of chapters she had planned so far.

There was a grumble around the room. "Well, can you do something besides just killing me?" Aang asked.

"We'll see, Aang," Jiao-Jie replied offhandedly.

"I bet you're going to do a High School AU too, huh?" Toph drawled. The author froze. "WHAT? I was just kidding…Spirits, I didn't think you would really do that."

The room went into an uproar.

"I can't even waterbend in those!" Katara yelled.

"Oh BOO-HOO," her brother shouted back.

"If I have to be a cheerleader again I'm going to show you the meaning of pain!" Azula screamed from the rear of the crowd. Jiao-Jie whimpered.

"At least you don't have to pretend you can see," Toph snapped at the fire princess.

"I _can_ see!"

"Yeah, but do you know how hard it is act _not_ blind?"

"Ahem," Jiao-Jie adjusted her tie again. "AHEM," she said louder. The feuding characters turned back to the front. "That brings me to my next point. I do have a few ideas so far and I am going to let you guys decide what order we go in."

"How about you just write a real story instead?" offered Sokka.

"You know I already am; this is a side project. Jeez," she replied. Sokka pouted. "Here is what you guys can expect so far:

-Over the top Zutara (level of cheesiness indicated above)

-High school AU

-Obvious self-insertion."

"More obvious than this?" asked Katara.

Jiao-Jie continued as if the waterbender hadn't spoken although her cheeks turned slightly pink. "That's is what I have so far, but there are more ideas on the—" The author gasped as the door was flung open, slamming against the wall.

"NUUU," Sokka shouted, diving behind a table.

"_You,_" spat Ty Lee with as much venom as she could muster.

The girl in the doorway cackled. "I just wanted to say that you should also do a chapter about all around bad grammar. You know, misspelling characters names and suchwhatnot."

"OOOH, thanks Fyre!" Jiao-Jie quickly added that idea to her others, only slightly unsettled that the other girl knew the exact moment to barge in.

"So I have to be Mei again?" asked Mai, sighing. "This is so stupid."

"No problem! I'll be seeing you all _soon!_" Fyre threatened, then threw a toaster at someone, giggled again and slammed the door behind her.

"Where does she keep the toasters?" Aang asked as his air scooter dissolved from underneath him. Momo screeched and flew to Katara, who patted his head gently.

"I don't know, but she has murder eyes," whispered Sokka from behind the table.

"Fyre's murdery gaze aside, I now have several ideas on which to base a good 'I love bad fanfiction' party! Stay tuned everyone for the first installment of my—"

"AND MINE!" interrupted Ty Lee.

"And Ty Lee's party! If you have any other ideas feel free to review, or send a message!"

"Who are you talking to?" drawled Mai, examining her nails.

"Uhm…" the author thought, "the world, I guess?"

"Can we go now?" asked Toph.

Jiao-Jie sighed, opening a fresh file on her laptop. "Yeah, sure."

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><p><strong>AN: **The next chapter will be up soon. =]

Thank you to Fyre for beta-ing this as well as to whoever dared Ty Lee...'cause without you this fic would not be possible. *Tears up and gives the mystery person a waffle iron as a door prize.*


	2. Avatar: The Legend of Jenny Sue

**Avatar: The Legend of Jenny Sue**

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><p>Gradually, Jennifer felt herself waking up. Her eyelids were so heavy and sleep felt so warm that she just couldn't bear to wake up; surely her alarm would sound soon, signifying that it was seven o'clock and time to go to school and she couldn't have dreaded that moment more. <em>Only three more weeks,<em> she thought groggily.

But…something wasn't quite right. Her bed didn't feel quite as soft as it should and she was unusually cold for this time of year. Confused, Jennifer opened her eyes and shot bolt upright, very nearly head-butting the girl who'd been leaning over her.

"GAH!" Jennifer gasped, "Where am I?" Her beautiful green eyed gaze darted from the surprised looking girl in front of her, the surrounding forest, the dirt on which she had been laying, and the mystery girl's friends, who sat behind her, looking curious. "Why am I in a forest?" she asked urgently, before any of the strangers had time to even answer her first question.

"You tell us," one of the boys said suspiciously.

"I-I don't know…" she said, her eyes glazing up with tears. _What happened?_ She thought, becoming fearful. But it was then that she noticed the strange clothing of the people around her, and the blue arrow tattoos on one boy's head and arms. "Wait a minute…" she began, voicing her beautiful thoughts out loud. "Could I be…?" but she couldn't even finish the thought she was so surprised.

_Am I really in Avatar world? _Obviously_ that must be exactly what happened!_ So with that, Jennifer jumped to her feet, smiling her beautiful smile. Somehow, she had inexplicably been magically transported into the world of Avatar: The Last Airbender! _Amazing, _she thought, but then noticed the people she knew so well from her favorite TV show staring at her in confusion and worry.

"Ahem," she said now. "Nevermind, I've figured it out." She smiled again; it was still a beautiful smile.

"Uhm, okay?" Aang said, raising an eyebrow.

"Yep, something magical and mysterious happened…although I'm not sure why." Jennifer frowned, her eyebrows knit together. Oh well, she would figure it out later.

"Well…I guess magical and mysterious is something Team Avatar does best?" offered Katara with a shrug. She ran her braid through her hands.

"True," Sokka said slowly, stroking his chin thoughtfully. He turned to Toph who was picking her toes and Zuko who was sitting on the ground looking bored. "What do you guys think?"

"Meh," replied Toph, still focused on her feet.

"I guess she can come with us," answered Zuko, although he didn't sound very enthusiastic to the girl. Inside, Jennifer cheered.

_I'm really going to be part of Team Avatar!_ she thought excitedly as Aang motioned for her to climb onto Appa's back and join them on their adventures. Appa happily rumbled his approval and the Avatar airbended himself onto the back of Appa's head. _He's very __**handsome,**_Jennifer thought with a small blush as she watched Aang.

"Yip yip!" he shouted. With a 'whoosh' of air the flying bison took to the skies and Jennifer's heart soared. She had always wanted to fly because she had dreams and was not at all vapid; also, she was beautiful and smart.

After the group reached cruising altitude, they must have realized that no one had ever found out the identity of their new companion and now Katara spoke up. "What was your name again?" she asked.

"Jennifer," she replied with another dazzling smile.

"Wow, that's a pretty name," commented Aang, who was dazzled.

"Thank you," the girl replied, blushing again. _This is going to be great!_ she told herself.

Just then, Sokka, who had been leaning over the edge to survey the ground, lost his balance as it was very convenient to the advancement of the plot and fell over the edge of Appa's saddle. As her new friend tumbled through the air to his doom, Jennifer somehow miraculously acted without thinking and the Water Tribe boy was blown back to safety by a gust of wind.

Everyone looked at Jennifer in disbelief, especially Aang, and the young woman rapidly felt her face getting heat up. _What just happened?_ she asked herself, eyeing the thunderstruck expressions on her new friends' faces.

"Did you just…" Katara began but her speech trailed off into nothing.

"Airbend?" Aang finished for her, his eyes as wide as saucers.

"Huh?" Toph said, "What did I miss?" She turned her sightless eyes to the rest of the group; the entire incident had been silent aside from a small whoosh of air and Toph had apparently been zoning out and missed the whole ordeal. Zuko snored lightly beside her, his mouth hanging open.

"I-I don't…" the teenage girl started. Her _beautiful_ silky blonde hair whipped around her face and her heart was trying to punch its way out of her chest.

"Wooow," Toph said, although her voice sounded strangely sarcastic. "What a _surprise_."

"Yeah, who knew how special she would be?" added Sokka, glancing around disinterestedly.

"I think I must be in love with her or something," Aang said as though he was reciting lines. "Sorry, Katara."

The waterbender shrugged, and for some reason she didn't look very upset. "It's—"

"CUT!" shouted Jiao-Jie from off-screen. The author stood up from her director's chair, throwing off her hat, glaring at the characters and holding a script in one hand.

Ty Lee shut off a large fan that was being used to make the other characters appear to be flying. Appa groaned; he was lying on the ground as, even though the set was large, it wasn't large enough for him to fly. All of the 'actors' sighed with relief.

"Come on, guys! That was terrible!" the acrobat whined, stomping her foot. A pink party hat was perched on top of her head and she now adjusted it, glaring at her sort-of friends as hard as she could.

"What do you expect?" asked Aang, almost shouting. "Why would I randomly fall in love with someone I just met? It doesn't make any _sense!"_

"It doesn't _matter_ if it makes sense or not; you have to at least make it believable!" Jiao-Jie complained, clambering up Appa's saddle to adjust 'Jennifer's' position. The 'teenage girl' was in fact, a robot and she now stared blankly into the distance, smiling vacantly.

"Oh please, I almost threw up in my mouth a little doing this chapter," Katara said. "'Magical and mysterious is what Team Avatar does best?'" she mocked, "Seriously?"

Jiao-Jie blushed, brandishing her script around as she slid down Appa's tail, "This is a _bad_ fanfiction party, Katara!" the waterbender crossed her arms and shot daggers at the author with her eyes.

"And _you_, Zuko!" she said accusingly, picking up her party hat, which matched Ty Lee's, from where she'd thrown it to the ground. The Fire Lord looked up from his thumb wrestling match with Toph. "Could you have at least _tried_ to be interested?"

"In what?" he asked with a shrug, "I've met thousands of these robot girls, and even some boys, and I've had to even fall in love with some of them…do you know how weird that is to act out?"

"It's weird to even _talk_ to a robot," Sokka explained.

"I think he makes a valid point," added Mai from behind Ty Lee, where she'd been monopolizing the refreshments table, also wearing a party hat; there had been a short battle and Ty Lee made her promise to keep it on before un-chi-blocking her. She took another bite of nacho.

"No one asked you!" the author/director shouted, then squeaked as a shuriken narrowly missed her neck.

Ty Lee sighed heavily. "I guess that was good enough to prove our point?" she asked Jiao-Jie.

"I think it was _more_ than good enough," Aang interjected, jumping off of Appa's head and helping Katara down. Sokka fell and landed awkwardly on his face.

"I suppose…" the author said sadly, kicking at the floor. "I _really_ wanted to get to the point where Jennifer was miraculously the second Avatar, though." Aang exchanged a disgusted look with Zuko.

"Oh well!" Jiao-Jie said brightly. She grinned at Zuko, Aang and Katara evilly. "If you guys thought _that_ was bad, wait until the next chapter." Toph chuckled lightly.

"PLEASE tell me it's not the Zutara chapter," Zuko groaned.

Jiao-Jie cackled. "Zuko…there are worse ships out there than Zutara…and for some reason most of them revolve around you."

"I hate you," Zuko gulped.

Ty Lee giggled as she danced around behind the frightened characters, placing party hats on each of them.

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><p><strong>AN:** I hope you all liked this! As I mentioned in my profile this is probably the last chapter I'll have published for at least a week. It was already written for the most part before my appendectomy, but now I am a bit too tired and medicated to write a whole 'nother chapter for a while. I actually tried to write a cheesy Zutara chapter but was even more PAINFUL than this one and I think that's why my appendix rebelled against me.

Anywho, the party hat idea came from Art of the Artichoke (awesome username) I have also gotten some other ideas through reviews! If you suggest it I will do my best to add it to the story!

Thanks again to everyone who read/reviewed/favorited/subscribed/etc!


	3. Yaoi Worst Nightmare

**A/N:**Okay, I have four disclaimers before we can do this chapter...ready? Okay! *Pulls out a clipboard and starts reading.*

1. This is a guest chapter written by my very good friend The Mountain (read his stories NAO! GOGOGO! He's under my favorite authors) and will serve as an update while I take a thousand years (or a couple weeks) to write another chapter.  
>2. The idea for this was given to me in a review by CrazyDyslexicNerd which I passed on to Aaron.<br>3. This chapter will be rated **T** for some...implications...even though the rest of the story is only **K+.**  
>4. I honestly have <strong><em>nothing<em>** against gay people; it's these specific types of stereotypical stories I can't stand and luckily I think Aaron managed to include every cliche in the book so you can see what I mean.

Okay! On to the chapter!

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><p><strong>Yaoi Worst Nightmare<strong>

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><p>Zuko groaned as he read through the script one more time. "WHY did we come to this stupid party again?"<p>

Aang sighed absentmindedly, thumbing through the last of his lines. "Because we're BORED."

The Fire Lord rolled his eyes and burned the script in complaint. "We can't be THIS bored!" he shouted.

"_Relax _Zuko. Soon the Legend of Korra will start and we'll get to be in GOOD stories again," the Avatar assured him with a friendly pat on the shoulder and his charmingly boyish smile.

"Yeah, I guess," Zuko admitted, his posture collapsing as anger gave way to defeat.

"Besides, it could be worse...we actually aren't doing it this time!"

"Thank the Spirits! I'm so SICK of reading about my hard, throbbing sex penetrating your tight, virgin a..."

At that moment, Jiao-Jie burst into the room. "Aang! Zuko! You're on in thirty seconds!"

"Monkey Feathers!" Aang hastily threw on his Air Master Necklace, a loving memorial to Monk Gyatso, gave his clothes a once over, and looked up at his friend. "You ready buddy?"

"No."

"QUIET ON ZE SET!" the sound of guest-director Aaron's heavy mock-French accent blared through the megaphone, causing both young men to cover their ears. The shared a meaningful gaze, sighed heavily, and dejectedly assumed their positions...

The Avatar slowly wormed his way out of his clothes, set them next to his towel, and leaped into the bath. The palace's bath house was the finest in the world, the tubs filled with fresh, pure water from the volcanic hot springs and enhanced with the most recent herbal blends. Warm foam covered his body, while the pleasing aroma of the steam filled his nostrils. Aang closed his eyes and leaned his head on the marble floor, exhaling contently.

"Yes, there are definitely perks to being best friends with the Fire Lord," he said to himself, before giggling childishly. This chance to relax was extremely well-earned; less than a day ago, he had finally defeated ex-Fire Lord Ozai, stripping him of his bending abilities and saving the world. Meanwhile, Zuko and Katara had finally taken care of Azula, leaving her in a helpless state of enraged psychosis.

Aang was a fully realized Avatar. Zuko had been crowned the new Fire Lord. Together, they would bring an era of peace to the world that had been ravaged by a century of war.

Life was _good_.

"Ummm, may I join you?" a husky, powerful baritone voice reached Aang's ears.

He opened his eyes and saw the Fire Lord standing before him in nothing but a pair of black briefs, looking off to the side and rubbing his arm uncomfortably. His pale, perfectly toned body was that of a warrior, but his embarrassed, almost vulnerable posture betrayed the sensitive soul underneath.

Aang found him bizarrely mesmerizing, and he grinned invitingly. "Of course Zuko. After all, it's your bath."

He grinned awkwardly in return. "Thanks." He threw his briefs off and into Aang's pile of clothes, then stepped into the warm, inviting pool.

The Avatar got an eyeful of Zuko's firm, muscular buttocks before he settled into the pool, hiding all but his chiseled pectorals and strong, powerful arms. The Fire Lord let out a sharp gasp as the heat of the bath surged into his body, before letting out a pleasurable moan. Rearing his head back in the same gratified manner as Aang had earlier, Zuko sent inexplicable shivers down Aang's spine.

Never one to keep his thoughts to himself, Aang blurted out, "You're handsome, you know that Zuko."

The Fire Lord's head whipped back to full attention, both eyes as wide as possible. "Uh...thanks...I guess," he stuttered, blushing bright red. The only people who had told him that before were Iroh, Mai and his mother, and hearing those words from an almost thirteen year old _boy _was not something he expected. But it wasn't too weird, was it? They were friends, they could say things like that, right? Nothing strange about it, no reason to be alarmed.

Aang began to step out of the pool, and time seemed to slow down for Zuko. His eyes went up and down, absorbing Aang's profile. While not as bulked out as he was, Aang was athletically built, his lean muscle contrasting with the softer baby fat. It was especially noticeable on Aang's very round, pale bottom. Zuko felt butterflies in his stomach and...something else...and felt a mixture of rage, guilt and mostly confusion. He closed his eyes and looked away, but curiosity got the best of him and he opened his eyes in time to see Aang tie a knot in the towel wrapped around his legs.

Feeling it was only appropriate to return the favor, Zuko shouted, "You're handsome too!" a little more enthusiastically than he intended to.

Aang's adorable smile fell on the Fire Lord. The blush returned to his cheeks, and Zuko's head and shoulders scrunched together timidly. He really wished he could disappear, or that Aang would just leave so he could figure out his feelings and...work out his frustrations.

"Why thank you," Aang answered and bent over a bow. Zuko gulped; his mind was filling with the various things Aang could do to him, or that he could do to Aang, in that position. It was subconscious and a little disturbing, but he just couldn't get the images out of his brain. _What is happening to me? _Zuko wondered.

Aang tossed Zuko's towel to him. "Come on buddy, we've got an after-party to go to. You don't want to be late...or get all prune-y," he added, looking at his own shriveled up palm in revulsion.

"Er...right. Can't...uh, stay here all day," Zuko nodded halfheartedly. The prospect of standing naked in front of Aang was now a thousand times more uncomfortable; somehow it seemed way more intimate than it had a few minutes ago. But the Avatar was not leaving, and a Fire Lord has his duty. So, somewhat mortified, he climbed out of the bath, exposing himself again.

Zuko looked at Aang nervously; the Avatar looked at him rather innocently, and it was just more unnerving. Could Aang possibly have any idea what sort of tricks his brain was pulling on him? Flustered, Zuko attempted in vain to tie the knot in his towel, but his clumsy hands were working against him. The towel kept sliding down and Zuko kept pulling it up; it was a comical sight that was making Aang double over with laughter. The Fire Lord wished that he could die, and continued the struggle helplessly.

Stifling another chuckle, the Avatar came closer. "Here, let me help you."

Not even waiting for permission, Aang skillfully tied a perfect knot in Zuko's towel. His soft, gentle fingers brushed against Zuko's skin and the Fire Lord found himself unable to object; his voice was utterly failing him.

"There you go," Aang said and looked up at Zuko and snorted cutely. "No need to thank me."

Zuko nervously ran his fingers through his hair, and looked intently in Aang's cloudy gray eyes. The two boys had once been the worst of enemies; he had once thought the Avatar's capture was the key to restoring his honor and regaining his happiness. Now, the Fire Lord knew that his place was at the Avatar's side; he had restored his honor and had never been happier.

"A...Aang?" he whispered, and the Avatar acknowledged him with a soft moan. "I...I'm really proud of you. I was worried you wouldn't be able to defeat my father...but you did it. You're...you're really amazing."

Aang smirked. "Thanks. I'm proud of you too...you're a a great friend, and you'll be a great Fire Lord." To Zuko's surprise, Aang gave him a tight, warm hug. Zuko's _entire _body stiffened, but he was able to relax and return the embrace.

He tried to walk off, but Zuko placed a meaningful hand on his shoulder. The Avatar stopped and turned to face him. The world froze as the two young, handsome boys stared longingly at each other, looking through each other's eyes and penetrating each other's souls. Their breathing matched, their heart beats matched...and Zuko found he could no longer keep what was inside of him from bubbling out.

He carefully grabbed Aang's other arm and pulled him close. Aang trembled in his arms. "Zu...Zuko?" he stammered, but Zuko placed a finger to his lips, narrowed his eyes seductively and grinned. The young boy managed a weak, nervous smile in return.

Zuko's mouth opened, his warm tickling Aang's eyebrows. Zuko leaned down, and Aang rose to meet him, closing his eyes, spreading his lips and leaning closer. The Fire Lord's eyes closed, and he felt Aang's cool, soft breath on his face.

Their lips moved closer...and closer...

And closer...

"CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT!" Katara and Mai shrieked at the top of their lungs. The two boys broke their uneasy stalling and turned to face the waterbender as she rushed onto the set. "Cut, cut, cut, cut, CUT!" Katara repeated frantically, pulling Aang away from Zuko so aggressively that the Avatar almost fell into the bath. Mai just rushed over and pushed Zuko straight into the water and laughed to herself.

"WUT ZE DEVIL?" Aaron rose from his director chair, throwing his rainbow colored director's hat onto the ground and stepping on it. "Wut are zeese GUR-RELS doing on MY set?" he exclaimed, flailing his arms.

"Preventing you from ruining my boyfriend's reputation!" Mai exclaimed, as Zuko gasped for air and leaned on the edge of the tub.

"Ruining? YOU are ze ones ruining my stowy!" he countered, pulling the hairs out of his exquisitely groomed mustaches.

"That's right!" Katara affirmed, folding her arms and nodding. "We're sick and tired of our boyfriends being shipped together! We don't have a problem with gay people...but Aang and Zuko love US!"

Zuko grumbled something along the lines of, "Not at the moment," but a swift kick to the shoulder shut him up. "Uhhhh...yeah! And I mean, no offense, but I just don't swing that way!"

"ZUT ALORS, why did zey bring ze Magnificent Mountain to direct the story if they would not do it!"

Jiao-Jie took Aaron aside. "We've actually had problems the whole party. And...well, it wasn't supposed to be serious. I think we proved our point. You can drop the act now."

Aaron sighed with relief and threw off his purple trenchcoat. "Thank goodness. My accent was slipping. Have a great one!" He tipped his top hat to Jiao-Jie and rushed off set.

Jiao-Jie shook her head. "Alright, everyone gather around, we've got to get ready for the next story..."

"Awww man, it was just getting good!" Ty Lee exclaimed. Every guy on set glared evilly at her. "What? If it was Azula and I you'd all be sitting here drooling! Why can't a girl enjoy two hot guys getting it on?" she countered incredulously.

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><p><strong>AN:** *Uncle from Jackie Chan Adventures' voice* One more thing! An anonymous reviewer suggested that I offer more advice for better writing instead of just bashing (I prefer the term "poking fun at"). Now, there are a lot of other fics that offer tips for better writing (for example: Summer's Day and Fyre's Guide to Creativity), BUT, since you asked so nicely I will post a chapter at the end offering a few ways (from my brain!) to improve each of these overused bad fanfiction ideas.

Thanks for reading!


	4. Sailor Avatar

**Sailor Avatar**

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><p>"Are you sure this is right?" Serena asked, looking around nervously. A man loading a cart up with cabbages stared back, unabashedly curious.<p>

Amy studied the official piece of paper in her hands; it was their story assignment for the day. "Yes, this is definitely right. It says to be here at eleven AM sharp, warehouse 14 set 30."

"But…this isn't even our building," the blonde girl replied, her hands on her hips. "I don't recognize anyone here." She and her friend were still dressed in their school uniforms, which had earned them some very strange looks from passersby.

"Obviously we're in a cross-over," Amy replied, pushing her short hair out of her eyes and attempting to tuck it behind her ear.

"Ugh," moaned Serena. "I am _so_ tired of doing crossovers. Do you remember that time we had to go to the set of The Tudors*? That was so _weird_."

The dark haired girl chuckled and smiled at her friend. "Yeah, hopefully this won't be as bad as that." She glanced at her watch at the same time a young girl passed by. She was dressed in pink with large pigtails that stood straight out to the sides and she now shot a suspicious and oddly threatening glare at the two newcomers.

"Uhm, I think we'd better go inside," Amy said, taking a small step backwards and clutching her school books closer to her chest.

"That's a good idea," replied Serena quickly. In one fluid motion she grabbed the quieter girl's arm and threw the door to the set open, then dragged her friend inside.

After quickly closing the door behind her, nearly slamming it, Serena leaned against the wall, exhaling heavily to calm herself. Slightly confused, she followed Amy's gaze to the room full of unhappy people who were inexplicably wearing bright pink party hats. There was a large, ornate cake against one wall and some haphazard chairs and tables, although the main part of the room, the set, was empty, with a large camera trained on the space.

A tall, disturbingly excited young girl with reddish brown hair pulled back into a pony-tail hair smiled widely at the two girls.

"HELLO!" Jiao-Jie exclaimed giddily. She shoved a script into each girl's hands and clasped hers in front of her. "I'm so excited to meet you! My name is Jiao-Jie and I'll be your author today!"

Amy went straight to work on reading the script while Serena placed her hands on her hips, inadvertently crumbling up the pages. "So this is a cross-over, huh?" the blonde girl asked, scanning the room. Before the author had time to answer, however, the character's eyes landed on a person that she recognized, "Aang!" she exclaimed happily, but then quickly realized this meant she would be in _another_ Avatar fic, which significantly dampened her excitement at seeing her old acquaintance. "You guys moved buildings," finished Serena lamely.

"Yeah, this one's bigger…" replied the Avatar sadly.

"It's to accommodate all of the new stories that need to be filmed," Katara explained. "If we keep going at this rate we may have to upgrade to Harry Potter sized."

"Wow," Serena breathed. The Harry Potter warehouse was a towering monstrosity of thousands of sets that bathed most of the rest of the FFN lot in shadow. Most characters simply had to use body doubles as there were too many stories for the real characters to possibly be able to shoot; it was a nightmare among characters.

"Okay, okay, enough chit-chat!" chimed Ty Lee clapping her hands together and skipping up to the other girls. "You two need to get into costume!"

"Characters aren't allowed to write fanfiction; not even as a co-author," Amy stated drolly, finally looking up from the script and raising an eyebrow at the acrobat.

"I didn't write it," Ty Lee replied, still grinning ear to ear.

"I did!" interjected Jiao-Jie.

"Yeah, I'm just a party host!"

"You girls need to get into costume!" reiterated the author.

Several minutes later Serena darted around the corner of an ornate mansion in Capital City. She had transformed into Sailor Moon earlier, on the submarine, which she was now thankful for. Breathing hard she leaned against the wall and dared to peek around the corner.

"EEP," she exclaimed, ducking back behind the wall to dodge an oncoming fireball. Frantically, the young woman searched the streets in front of her and the rooftops above for any sign of Katara, who she had ridden in with on Appa, or Sailor Mercury, who had stayed with the rest of the invasion force; in Katara's absence her water powers would no doubt have been useful to them.

There was a commotion around the corner and the young fighter for justice bent down, sticking her leg out in time to trip the firebender who had come rushing after her. With a crash the man landed in a heap, unmoving, allowing the girl to jump over him and jog down another alley, hoping it lead her back to the main road and to the battleground. After the chaos of the initial invasion, when she and Katara had separated, Sailor Moon had become a bit lost in the metropolis of Capital City, but she was confident she could find her way back; after all, it was a big city but it was no Tokyo.

Luckily, as she rounded the next corner she crashed directly into two young women running in the opposite direction.

"OW," Sailor Moon exclaimed, holding her nose where it had bumped one of the other girls' skulls.

"Sorry," replied the girl in question, Sailor Mercury, who rubbed a place just in front of her ear.

"Watch out!" yelled the second girl, quickly freezing the firebender behind the blonde sailor suit fighter in a block of ice; he must not have been quite as unconscious as she previously thought

"Thanks, Katara."

"No problem," the waterbender answered with a smile. Her eyes darted to the sky, quickly calculating how much time they had before the eclipse started. "I'm glad we found you; something weird happened, the palace is totally abandoned. We need to look for an underground bunker, but we didn't want to leave without you."

"Thank y—" started a grinning Sailor Moon.

"Come on, we need to get back to the others," Sailor Mercury interrupted, reaching up and touching her earring lightly. A visor materialized in front of her eyes, the screen of a super-computer with which she could generate a map to the rest of the group. Serena sighed with relief; Amy's computer could show them the safest and fastest route at any given time using a series of complex variables programmed by Sailor Mercury herself.

But her dark haired friend frowned lightly and fiddled with her earring a little, then tapped the screen. "Uhm…" Her voice trailed off into nothing.

The other two girls stared at her with wide eyes. "What's wrong?" Katara asked urgently.

"I think…" Sailor Mercury started, "I think it's broken."

"_What?_" her companions chorused sharply.

"Is that a computer?" offered the frozen firebender; his head was left completely free, a courtesy of Katara so he could still breathe. No one answered, just stared at him blankly. "Those don't work here."

"What do you mean?" Sailor Mercury removed her earring and fiddled with the back, her hands shaking with panic.

"It's just a weird glitch with different fandoms. It happens a lot with cross-o—"

"_We have to go!"_ Katara almost screamed. She glanced around nervously as though someone was watching them.

Just then, a woman dressed in Fire Nation armor rounded the corner, followed by three other soldiers, by Serena's count. The girls had only a few seconds to react and Sailor Moon dove to the side, behind a small pile of crates someone had left stacked next to their back door. Ducking behind the boxes she removed her tiara and threw it around the corner like a boomerang; after hearing the metallic 'clang' of her headpiece making contact with a firebender's helmet, she reached around the corner and caught it in her right hand, then replaced it on her head. This was just in time to see Katara water whipping flames away from her and Sailor Mercury's hiding place, while the black haired girl conjured up some mist to hide their location.

Serena sighed with relief, but her heart jumped back into her throat as a man barreled out of the fog straight at her. With a high pitched shriek the sailor ran back down the alleyway, noticing a light post a couple feet above her head; she leapt into the air, and, using both hands, grasped the post to swing around to land a solid kick squarely between the soldier's eyes.

He collapsed and the girl tapped him with her foot lightly, recalling the unconscious man from earlier who had been conscious after all. He didn't move. Sailor Moon exhaled softly, before realizing that she was, once again, separated from her friends. She cursed herself silently and felt small tears of frustration forming. Uselessly, she tried to wave the mist away, but it was just as dense and gray as ever, and now the alleyway was almost dead silent; distant battle sounds echoed through the streets and empty buildings.

Exasperated, Sailor Moon tried to turn back the way she came, but in the fog, she wasn't exactly sure from which direction that had been. She sighed and took a few steps forward, but her exasperation was only multiplied when, for the second time in so many minutes, someone crashed into her from around the corner and the young woman flew to the ground.

With a grin, she looked up, expecting to see one of her friends, but was instead greeted by a cold stare from a boy she didn't recognize. She gasped and kicked him in the knee, scuttling backwards as quickly as she could.

He exclaimed in pain and Sailor Moon stepped into a fighting stance before the boy, hopping on one foot, held up both of his hands in a defensive position. "I don't want to fight you!" he exclaimed, and the young woman finally met his eyes. They were a unique, light gold color and although one was covered in a large burn scar it didn't seem to faze the blonde teenager.

Something about him was just so…

So…

So…

"Oh, kill me now," Mai interrupted the scene, yet again, holding a plate of cake in one hand and a fork in the other. Jiao-Jie turned and shot a death glare at her that _almost_ intimidated the gloomy girl just a fraction of a tiny little bit.

"YOU RUINED MY SCENE!" roared the author, crushing her Styrofoam plate in her hands and the cake along with it.

Mai rolled her eyes. "You should be thanking me. That scene was _awful_." She took a bite of chocolate cake.

"That's the point!" Jiao-Jie shrieked. "You don't really get the idea of this story do you?"

"Oh no, I get it. I just really like ruining it," she shrugged and exchanged a small smile with Zuko.

Ty Lee pouted behind the fog machine, her chin resting on her hand which was propped up on one of her knees. "I really wanted to see what was going to happen," she whined to her best friend.

"I just don't understand why every story has to end with someone falling in love with Zuko," explained Mai.

"Well the robot girl actually fell in love with me," offered Aang, who sat beside the director's chair munching on his cake.

"One word: Shipping," Jiao-Jie explained. "It's what 99.9%** of fanfiction is about."

"Can't _one_ chapter be about something besides shipping?" Zuko asked, rubbing his tired eyes.

"Hmm," the director flipped back a few pages of her clipboard to study the chapter list as Sailors Moon and Mercury slipped off to the cake table and Katara emerged from the fog, trying to de-frizz her hair. "Well…okay. At least _one_ chapter will be," she flashed a smile at the Fire Lord, who slapped his forehead.

"Uhm, Jiao-Jie?" Ty Lee jumped into the conversation, pushing herself into a backwards arch and then a standing position. "Are we done shooting for now?" Her eyes flickered to the cake table, where only a few slices and some crumbs remained.

The author sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Okay. Yeah, I guess that's good enough."

The acrobat let out a giddy sound and twirled over to the refreshments table. Jiao-Jie looked at the crushed cake in her hands. She shrugged and put the smushed cake on the floor for Momo who chittered his approval, then hurried after Ty Lee to replace her dessert.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:**

_* I'm sorry if you did a Tudors/Sailor Moon cross-over...I didn't check to see if anyone had. Wait...no...I'm not sorry at all. That story would be terrible. (But seriously, please don't get your feelings hurt. *Puppy dog eyes.*)  
>** I made this up, but it can't be that far off, right?<em>

So, that was my nonsensical cross-over chapter! Here come the disclaimers!

1. I love Harry Potter and HP FanFic writers; I just think there is a whole heck of a lot of fics in that section. That was the point.  
>2. If you cross-over'd A:tLA and Sailor Moon please don't get your feelings hurt...this isn't aimed at anyone in particular and I'm sure that some of you could write a totally awesome cross-over of those two series =].<br>3. I used their American names...that's how I saw the show and it's my story, so there!

I hope you enjoyed, thanks for reading this far. =]


	5. Flufferpuff Sentimental Daddy Dearest

**A/N:** Here you go, Art of the Artichoke, Ozai will finally make an appearance. =]

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><p><strong>Flufferpuff Sentimental Daddy Dearest<strong>

* * *

><p>As Azula made her way up the stairs that led to her Father's blimp, her heart was pounding in her chest like it was trying to escape. This was <em>her<em> plan and there was no way she was just going to sit at home and let him execute it without her. No. Way. Sure, the princess knew that by coming back after Ozai had ordered her to stay behind she was disregarding his authority, and that was a huge risk for which she might dearly pay. However, Azula also knew deep down in her heart that she had always been the perfect princess. She had always done exactly what her father told her, so why now would he force her to stay behind when they were right on the cusp of victory? A victory made possible only by her?

Sure, Ozai had _said_ that he needed her to watch over the homeland, but Azula could see straight through his lie. _To be honest,_ she thought, _it wasn't even a very _good_ lie. _That was when the princess' strong demeanor had broken down; how could her father do this to her? Was he afraid she would mess up? Was he embarrassed by her for some reason? Is there something she did? But this time, when she spoke to him, she wouldn't turn into a whiny little girl. She would be confident and logical and he would have no choice but to listen to her.

With a hollow, metallic clunk the young woman stepped into the blimp and was broken out of her thoughts. The soldiers milling around or preparing for takeoff exchanged confused and nervous glances, but bowed deeply as etiquette demanded. Their uncomfortable postures and facial expressions only served to make the princess more nervous about what she was going to do, but she had long ago perfected the art of keeping her face a mask of strength.

Immediately, when Azula reached the steel door to the air ship's command station and began to turn the wheel which would open it, she realized that she had no idea what she was going to say. Pure rage and indignation had propelled her this far, but now her fear took over. Unfortunately, it was much too late to turn back now (what would the soldiers who had seen her say?) and before the princess knew it she was standing inside the control room.

Soldiers and pilots and generals and engineers all rushed about, preparing everything for the Fire Nation's triumphant victory after one hundred years of war. Ozai sat in a gold throne against the back wall where he could view both the entire control room and the blimp's path. Now he glared at Azula so fiercely that she felt like she might burst into flames and for a moment all of her thoughts of confidence and logic flew from her mind and all she saw was her angry father.

"What are you doing here?" Ozai spat, clutching the arms of his throne so tightly his knuckles were white. "I thought I told you to stay behind."

Azula opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out for what felt like an eternity; an eternity in which she could feel her father getting angrier and angrier while all she could do was stand there feeling her face heat up from humiliation. She recalled her words from earlier: that he was treating her like Zuko. The princess had a sudden and ridiculous vision of herself with a huge burn scar over one eye and she winced.

Luckily, that was the moment when one of the soldiers dropped his helmet. The resounding clang echoed through Azula's panic addled brain and snapped her out of her trance. She quickly straightened her back, struggling to bring back the confident feeling and force her tongue to move.

Finally, she did, and was thankful that her voice came out calm and level instead of shaky and high pitched. "Father, I want to come with you. I think that I deserve to go because this plan was mine to begin with. I know that you lied about wanting me to protect the homeland and it really hurt my feelings that you won't let me help you because it makes me feel like I'm not good enough."

Ozai blinked twice, staring at Azula like he wasn't sure who she was, but then he seemed to come to some kind of realization and something inside must have clicked. "Oh Azula," he began, "I'm sorry for not believing in you enough to want to bring you with me, but I just feel if I really want something done I need to do it myself because I can't trust anyone else."

The princess's eyes widened. She had never heard her father say anything like that before, anything that seemed so honest or kind. "Why would you think that?" her voice was sympathetic.

Ozai slowly stood up and for some reason everyone in the control room had gone silent. The room darkened and a single spotlight shined down on the Phoenix King. "Well," he paused dramatically. "I guess it all started when I was a little kid. Because of the advanced age of my father, I think he didn't really pay much attention to me as he was very busy with the war and a bit past the fathering stage of his life. That had come much earlier with Iroh, who, by the time I needed someone to look up to, had a son of his own to raise…" And so, for approximately fifteen minutes, Ozai delayed his extremely important destruction of the Earth Kingdom (Sozin's Comet would only last so long) and took the time to explain, in excruciatingly touching detail, his childhood and why he became the evil, horrible man that he was.

By the time her father had almost caught up to the present, Azula had tears running down her face. "…And this culminated when your brother revealed to me that both of you had _lied_ to me, your own father, about what happened with the Avatar. Then he has the audacity to betray me and his country after I tried so hard to teach him the value of respect and honor. I couldn't risk feeling so hurt again by letting you come with me to the Wulong Forest and possibly turn against me the same way." Ozai wiped a glistening tear off of his cheek and took a deep breath. "So I'm sorry, Azula, my sweet daughter. If only I had experienced love growing up I think maybe I could have been a better father to you and Zuko."

Azula sniffled again. "Oh, Dad!" she cried, running into his arms for their first hug in years. "I love you!"

"I love you too, Azula," Ozai replied with a kind smile and the room applauded. It was all really heartwarming, seriously.

Doing her best to contain the laughter that threatened to burst out of her, Ty Lee raised the lights in the set.

"That's a wrap!" Jiao-Jie managed to say. She was using both hands to cover her mouth to keep from giggling.

"Oh thank the Spirits," cried Azula, breaking her and Ozai's hug with a look of disgust on her face.

The Phoenix King looked a little green, although that was quickly eclipsed by beet red from rage. He raised a hand only to drop it again. "You should count yourself lucky I can't firebend anymore," he choked out at the author before storming out, presumably to hire someone to kill the author.

At the exact time the door slammed, the room erupted into a flood of howling laughter. Aang was hiding his face, although his ears were bright pink. Toph pounded the floor beside her with her fist, resulting in a growing earth pillar behind her. Sokka was literally rolling around on the floor. Suki had tears running down her face. Mai was choking on her punch and Jiao-Jie held her stomach, which was starting to get sore. After several minutes of cackling while Azula stood in the middle of the room fuming, the other characters and the one fangirl started to calm down.

"Oh man, that was great," stated Sokka, who wiped a tear from his eye.

"Yeah…ahaha, it was really, ehehe, classic," Katara managed to add through her continuing laughter.

Zuko was the only one not smiling. "That must have been horrible," he said, his eyes wide in terror.

"It was," Azula said, now sounding more frightened than enraged.

"What's so bad about having to tell your dad you love him?" Aang asked seriously after calming himself down. She looked at him incredulously.

"It's just…not how our family works," Zuko explained for her.

"Yeah, uplifting displays of affection," Azula said the words as though they were poison, "aren't really our thing. It's a lot more about threats and fear than love."

"Sorry Azula," Jiao-Jie said fearfully. She really didn't want to get on the princess's bad side.

"You should be," Azula shot back, her threatening tone returned. "I despise having to be out of character in stories. It's humiliating, and this isn't even the worst I've had to do." The author bowed her head. "Honestly, have some of these writers ever even _seen_ the show?"

"Maybe they think deep down inside you're actually a really good person?" offered Aang. There was a short pause before the room burst into laughter yet again, this time including Azula, whose slightly insane cackle stood out amongst the others.

"Okay, settle down everyone," Jiao-Jie said after a moment, then waited until everyone except Mai had stopped laughing; it was unusual to see the morose girl in such a state, but she couldn't get over the image Aang had given her of Azula. "We've finally managed to finish an entire scene!" proclaimed Jiao-Jie. Mai snorted. "Nice work everyone!"

"Of course it was," Azula said, since she was now the only one remaining, aside from a few of the extras, that had been in the scene. "But if you ever make me do anything like that again you're going to have a scar to match Zu-zu's."

Jiao-Jie let out an uncomfortable chuckle and there was a very long pause. Sokka whispered something to Suki which made her suppress a giggle.

"Hey, Jiao-Jie," Ty Lee said, ending the awkward pause. "What chapter are we going to do next?"

"Hmm…" The author looked down at her clip board. Luckily for Azula, this gave her just enough time to reach behind the author and pinch the end of her pony tail before strutting out of the set with a smirk and slamming the door behind her. "Well it's going to be one of two I think. My favorite is—"

"Jiao-Jie?" interrupted Ty Lee. "Your hair…"

"What?" She raised an eyebrow but then an extremely unpleasant smell reached her nose. "What's that…AGGHHH MY HAIR." Luckily, she didn't have long to scramble around, as Katara quickly doused the flame, leaving Jiao-Jie with only slightly burnt ends.

"Er…" the author said, now soaking wet "Thanks Katara. And…good work everyone." She nodded to the group who bowed or waved or shrugged before sloshing to the costume department for dry clothes.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:**Well, I really hope that the point of this chapter became obvious partway through: if you're going to have a character act dramatically different than they did in the story you need to have a lot of build up and development or else it's just...weird. For instance, if you're going to have Azula turn out to be a good person deep down, you should probably explain how she started to show it.

The title is an exact quote of what The Mountain thinks I turned Ozai into and I think it's a pretty good summation of the chapter. =D

I am pretty sure a lot of you are looking forward to the Zutara chapter, and incidentally it is also the most painful to write, but I am working on it. There will also probably be another guest chapter while I try to finish that, written by Fyre this time.

One more thing (this is a very long author's note) if you have any ideas of bad fanfiction or something you are so weirded out by seeing over and over again, let me know and I'll try to incorporate it. =]

THANK YOU for reading!


	6. Azula's Limit

**A/N:** Yes, this chapter is much shorter than the others, but you'll see why when you read it. =]

I hope you enjoy it! Thanks again to everyone who read or reviewed or favorited or subscribed! You guys rock. Although I already had some plans for this chapter, this idea was also suggested to me by **deaths lovely nightmare ** who accompanied his suggestion with an evil laugh and a (presumably evil) winky smiley, so I'll let you all make of that what you will lol.

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><p><strong>Azula's Limit<strong>

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><p>"Okay! Is everyone here?" Jiao-Jie, now dressed in some spare Earth Kingdom robes from the costume department, called throughout the set, and most of the characters turned to look at her. The majority of them all looked very uncomfortable, but that was because of the bad fanfiction genre that had been suggested. The author took a deep breath; she was desperately dreading this scene. No one had touched the refreshments table, which today held a continental breakfast, but they were all far too anxious to eat, even Sokka.<p>

Uncle Iroh sat on a stool beside the refreshments table, the tea that Ty Lee had given him to calm him down sat next to him completely untouched and now cold. "Unfortunately," he said, sounding very gloomy and not very Irohish.

"Ehh, you probably shouldn't have come," said the fangirl with a pitying look, her roll call forgotten.

"I agree. Lady Ursa wanted me to tell her what happened, though. She will probably regret it," he looked sick. "As will I."

Jiao-Jie sighed sadly, trying to think of something to say to the man to cheer him up, but nothing came. It was then that she noticed Ty Lee had appeared at her elbow, wearing an anxious expression. "What's wrong?" Jiao-Jie asked her co-host, _aside from this chapter,_ she added mentally.

"Zuko and Azula aren't here," Ty Lee explained, with something between a frown and a smile plastered on her face.

"What?" gasped the author. There was no way they could do this scene without the Fire Nation siblings. _But then again, this could be a blessing in disguise_, she thought. All morning the author had been nursing a stomach ache about having to shoot this particular scene. Even writing it was torture and eventually she had simply made one of the Robot Sues write the script for her, which she couldn't even bear to read, so not even the director knew what kind of horrors they would all be in for. _Or maybe not, since Zuko and Azula aren't here._

"Hey, look!" shouted Aang, pointing to the set door where a letter must have been slipped in while no one was looking.

Ty Lee immediately cartwheeled over and snatched the piece of parchment up. She ripped it open and her eyes widened as she read it. "It's from Azula," she explained.

Jiao-Jie dashed over and tore it from the acrobat's hands. Her eyes read it eagerly, and when she was finished she sighed in relief. "Good news everyone," she said smiling, "we're not going to do this scene!" To be honest, the uncomfortable content of the upcoming chapter was not the only reason she was relieved not to have to do it; Azula's threat from the out of character chapter was enough all by itself.

The set erupted into applause and the heavy feeling of dread that had hung over the _I Love Bad Fanfiction_ set was lifted.

"What does it say?" Mai asked, still a bit green but she had stopped fiddling with her knives, which the author took as a good sign.

Jiao-Jie took a deep breath and began reading; she couldn't help but imitate Azula's tone as she went,

"To Jiao-Jie and every other fanfiction writer,  
>No. Just no. I have been more than cooperative with you as it is part of my contract with Nickelodeon, but you can expect this mercy no more. You filthy peasants have been abusing it and are no longer worthy of me appearing in your stories. I have discussed things with Zu-zu and neither of us will be participating in <em>any more<em> of these so-called 'Zucest' publications. I hereby guarantee that any more attempts at this sort of 'fic' as you call them, will result an intimate relationship between you and my lightening. I am not sure what could possibly be going on in your strange little minds that would cause you to write these sorts of 'stories' if they could even be called such, but I order you to cease and desist immediately under penalty of death. It is for this reason that we will _not_ be appearing in chapter six of 'I Love Bad Fanfiction.' I would also like to include that this ban extends to _any_ kind of 'Firecest' not just my brother and I.  
>Sincerely,<br>Princess Azula  
>P.S. Zu-zu wishes me to tell you that he doesn't even like me, much less feel <em>that<em> way about me. I second that."

"Oh, thank the Spirits," Mai droned, although her posture was more relaxed. "This scene would have been a _nightmare._"

"You told me you were just going to interrupt it right away," Ty Lee said, glancing at her best friend with genuine confusion.

"The author isn't supposed to know that Ty Lee," chastised Mai. "It's sort of against the rules to interfere with an author's fanfiction, you know?"

"Ohhh," Ty Lee said with a smile. She winked conspiratorially at Mai who rolled her eyes.

"Uhm," began Katara. "Sokka and I would like to put forward a similar ban on 'Watercest' stories." She shuddered and gave a little gag. "That was even gross to _say_."

"Noted," Jiao-Jie said with a nod, smiling. She was _so_ relieved that she would not have to direct this chapter that she didn't even say anything to Mai about ruining it; that would have been a blessing. Judging by all of the smiles and chatting that had now spread to the characters, Jiao-Jie figured they were all relieved not to have to _watch_ such a scene either.

Sokka's face was scrunched up in disgust, but then he noticed the tower of bagels and various types of shmear on the refreshments table. "Oooh," he said, disturbing FFN stories forgotten as he made a bee-line to the food, pulling Suki along behind him by the hand. Momo was already making short work of the fruit.

Uncle Iroh sat off to the side, sipping his tea, although now he wore a large smile, and although Mai's face was still emotionless, Jiao-Jie could have sworn that she looked a bit more cheerful as she followed Sokka and Suki. Then, the author noticed that she was still holding the script in her right hand, unread by anyone except its robot writer. She extended her arm away from her as though the script was something dirty and evil.

"Aang, do you want to do the honors?"

"Please," answered the Avatar, taking the script from the author and holding it at arm's length as well. With a flick of his wrist, the script was engulfed in flames. He let the ashes fall, smiling.

"Thanks," said the author with a genuine smile. There was a short pause, and then her overexcited tone returned. "Now to get to work on the next chapter!" she exclaimed. "That is: 'Super, Duper Short Chapter!' Stay tuned, readers!"

"I hate when she talks to herself," Mai told Ty Lee, taking a bite of bagel.

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><p><strong>AN**: That's right, two author's notes in one fic! Anyway, I will probably be posting the _Super Duper Short Chapter_ Chapter (hehe) tonight, since it is much too short to be published on its own.


	7. Super Duper Short Chapter

**Super Duper Short Chapter**

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><p>"No, that's not right at all," Toph chastised Aang. Even though the war was over, she was not going to let him give up on learning earthbending. Now they stood in the courtyard at Zuko's palace, Toph with her hands on her hips and staring at the airbender with angry, sightless eyes.<p>

"Why not?" shouted Aang. "That was exactly the way you showed me!"

"No. It wasn't Aang. You did the move right but you didn't really try; your boulder wasn't even _close_ to big enough! You're doing a _Boulder _Toss with a freaking pebble! Stop being such a little girl and do it right!" She gave him a little shove in the shoulder that almost knocked him down.

"But what about Zuko's garden?" he nervously glanced around their location. It was an exquisitely maintained garden, and even the rocks were intentionally placed to create a tranquil and relaxing space. Aside from the boulder that Toph had moved to show Aang the move, that is.

"What _about_ it, Twinkle Toes?" She shoved him again and Aang glared at her, obviously becoming angry; although she couldn't see it she could feel his pulse speeding up with anger. "It's just a stupid garden; the Melon Lord will be fine."

Aang sighed, still frowning with frustration and stepped back into his earthbending stance. With a deep breath he allowed himself to sense the ground beneath his feet, then, when he was ready, he took a step forward and stomped hard. This time, a boulder as big across as Aang was tall withdrew from the ground, and with a thrust of his palms, flew several feet back before landing with a tremor.

With a smile, the Avatar turned to Toph, who had her arms crossed and a small smirk on her lips. "Much better Twinkle—"

"MY GARDEN," screamed an elderly man that Aang recognized as the palace's gardener. Now he collapsed to his knees sobbing.

"Great job!" yelled Jiao-Jie. "Now come have some milk and brownies!" She indicated to food table. The gardener stood up and wiped his eyes, examining the food.

"That's it?" asked Sokka, shoving a brownie into his mouth. "Wafn't dat a bit showt?"

The author nodded as the two actors approached the table. "It's a _Super Duper Short Chapter_ Chapter, Sokka, and sadly, this is _long_ for a short chapter."

The Water Tribe boy raised an eyebrow, then shrugged and grabbed another brownie.

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><p><strong>AN:** Here is the second chapter I promised! This _is_ pretty long for a short chapter, but I think I got my point across.  
>Thanks again, everyone. =]<p> 


	8. Princess Sokka

**A/N:** So, here you are with a little chapter by Fyre in honor of IBF week. This is to give me some time to finish my Zutara chapter (it hurts) while not leaving you all hanging in terms of updates! I actually think that Fyre's version of this is a lot better than most bad fanfiction...considering she had _some_ kind of explanation xD.

ENJOY!

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><p><strong>Princess Sokka<strong>

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><p>"Cut!" Jiao-Jie called. No one heard her. "CUT!" Still no one heard her. She sighed and turned to her fellow author who sat next to her. "Fyre, CUUUUUT!" Fyre stopped screaming, only to instead start hyperventilating. Jiao-Jie rolled her eyes. "Look, it was your idea to do this, Fyre. It is not my fault that it's horrible."<p>

"YES IT IS! IT'S ALWAYS YOUR FAULT!"

Jiao-Jie narrowed her eyes. "I am going to pretend I didn't hear that, and instead take this little script book here away from you, okay?" Jiao-Jie reached over to grab the script from Fyre's hand, which wasn't hard since Fyre was holding it like it was a disease. Jiao-Jie flipped through the pages. "I mean, what's so bad about it?"

"Zutara; Katara is captured as a slave and somehow ends up working for Zuko. They're married by chapter five, at which point they go to High School together. Meanwhile, Ms. Mary Sue comes into the picture, no one knows how. She is the second Avatar, and Zuko begins to fall for her. He is faced with a choice; Katara or Mary, and he eventually choses Mary, but somewhere near the end he breaks up with her to get back with Katara. Oh yeah, and in the end, when Mary defeats Ozai and Azula singlehandedly, Azula is COMPLETELY insane, and breaks out of the crazy house, killing Mai and letting all the stupid little Zutarians run free!"

Jiao-Jie blinked twice at her friend's Summary of the story. "Yeah, that's about right. Hey, I thought you were a Zutari. . ."

"THAT CANNOT BE PROVED IN A COURT OF LAW!" Fyre suddenly screamed, hugging her knees. Her eyes went all shifty-like. "I've seen things you can only imagine, man. Good, original stories running out of inspiration, one hundred and two fics with the same name, and about three billion stories where Zuko and Katara spontaneously got married." Fyre rocked back in forth; Jiao-Jie could have sworn she saw tears in the girl's eyes. "And you know what each one is? It's just another blow to the second wall."

"The second wall?" Jiao-Jie raised an eyebrow.

Fyre nodded. "Fourth wall's overrated."

Jiao-Jie took a step back, nearly running into Ty Lee. The acrobat spun around to face the author, who looked terrified. "Can we get, like, a cage over here, or something? I mean, we haven't even started shooting and Fyre's already gone mental."

Ty Lee nodded. "I'm on it!" she called, before skipping off set to find a cage.

Jiao-Jie turned back to the psychopath next to her, who was mumbling about Papaya. "Don't worry Fyre. We've already done the Mary-Sue, and she was the second Avatar. I'm writing the Zutara – which includes Slave Girl Katara – and the High School AU. You know what that leaves you with?"

Fyre shook her head rapidly, before opening her mouth to speak. "Finding Ur – "

"Body-swaps!"

Fyre paused for a moment, open-mouthed. "That doesn't EVEN MAKE _ANY SENSE_!" She screamed. Jiao-Jie shrugged simply, before handing Fyre back her script. Ty Lee and Zuko returned with a large cage, causing Fyre to scream and run to the refreshments table, where she became distracted by Food.

"ACTION." Jiao-Jie shrieked as Zuko threw a rope and Fyre and Ty Lee tried to pull the creativity-freak into the cage.

The scene began in the episode "The Day of Black Sun", at the exact moment that the trio burst in on Azula's trap. Only now, because the author had most likely never watched the episode, Katara was with them.

Azula clapped her hands sarcastically. "Bravo." She said coolly. "It's about time you found me." She smirked evilly, her eyes still piercing through the Avatar. He and his friends were speechless. She cocked her head slightly, before sighing and sitting back in her chair. "What? No hello? Oh well, I can still take you down, even without my bending!"

Just as Azula finished the sentence, Sokka and Katara attacked. Sokka grabbed his trusty club and charged at the princess, while Katara sent a stream of ice cold water directly at the girl's leg. Azula gasped in shock and leapt up in the air. She kicked upwards in an attempt to push Sokka's club away, but somehow, magically, when she did so, it caused Sokka and her to switch bodies.

Neither realized it at first, of course. They needed to wait to find out when it became dramatic. Sokka (In Azula's body) blinked several times, suddenly wondering why he was staring at himself. Azula was wondering why she was holding a club.

"What are you waiting for?" Katara said impatiently. "Take her out!"

Azula's body with Sokka inside stared at himself. "Uh, no can do." His voice was feminine – duh. It was Azula's. She/he looked over at Katara. "I can't attack myself."

Aang and Katara both blinked a few dozen times. "Uh, what?"

Azula – trapped in Sokka's body - stared at herself. "Yeah, I'm wondering that too. What happened? How did I ever get stuck in a Water Tribe Boy's body?" She asked, obviously saying that so the author could explain the situation.

"AT LEAST YOU'RE NOT WEARING A DRESS!" Princess Sokka said, standing and motioning at what she/he was wearing.

Katara gasped in shock, the situation suddenly hitting her. "Oh no! Sokka and Azula have switched bodies! That is obviously what happened, and I'm not amazed at all by the fact that it happened. I mean, people randomly switching bodies happens every day!"

Aang nodded. "We must do something elaborate in order to switch them back. Let's just hope nothing else weird happens..."

Right as he finished the sentence, Zuko walked into the room, his hood up, making him look mysterious. "I am here to join you, Avatar." He said, not even noticing that Azula's body was flipping out while Sokka's body looked like it was going to die.

Katara, not paying attention to Zuko, of course, sent a jet of water at him. Zuko gasped in shock and attempted to make it evaporate with firebending, but instead, there was a flash, and he and Katara switched bodies as well.

"What did you do that for?" Zuko in Katara's body screamed, before realizing he was staring at himself. Aang fell to the floor.

Toph, who the author had seemed to forgotten, blinked. "Let me get this straight since I can't see who's saying what. Princess Crazy over there and Swordy switched bodies, and then Prince pouty came in and switched with Sugar Queen?" she summed up. Aang nodded bleakly.

"Yes." He turned to Katara's water pouch. "It must be the water!" he cried. "Katara, where did you get this?"

Zuko's body spoke. "I got it from a random guy on the side of the street. He said it was sacred, but that's what all hippies say." He/she shrugged.

Aang instantly figured out everything. "IT MUST BE MAGIC WATER!" He cried. He rushed over and grabbed the pouch from Katara's body. "We must take it and you four to the volcano on Roku's island, pour this stuff in, and then, if we survive – it is a volcano after all – you will all be back in your bodies!"

"CUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTT!" Fyre shrieked, banging around in the cage.

Jiao-Jie glared at Zuko. "You said that you would get a gag too."

"I was too busy being Katara!" He protested, turning off his 'Katara-voice-changer' thingy. Sokka, Azula, and Katara all did the same to their voice-disguisers. Azula gagged, turning to Sokka and wrinkling her nose. Sokka glared at her.

Katara brushed herself off. "Well, I'll just go and kill myself." She said, strolling off casually. Sokka and Zuko instantly grabbed her, and she turned into a ravenous monster, kicking and thrashing. Jiao-Jie watched in awe.

"Wow. Horrible job everyone!" she complimented. Fyre screamed again, knocking over the cage as the door swung open.

She stepped up to her friend, grabbed the girl by the collar on her shirt, and lifted her up in the air. "I am going back to creativity." She said simply, anger flowing off of her evil voice. She then released Jiao-Jie, opened the door, and slammed it dramatically.

Jiao-Jie sighed. "All right, that's a wrap." She said, then made her way over to the refreshments table.


	9. Fire and IceSteamCliche Title

**A/N:** Here is the chapter many of you have been waiting for! I hope two things...one, that it meets your expectations (it turns out writing bad fanfiction on purpose is really hard) and two that you don't stop reading after this! Yes, this is Sofia's (Artistically Creative on here, read her stuff!) 50th reviewer prize, even though it is delayed. One hundredth reviewer will also get a prize (sorry Sofia, no double winners!) and there will be a Q/A chapter as well as advice at the end.

HERE WE GO. I hope it's not _too_ good. I've never felt like I wrote something too well before. It's a strange feeling, but I didn't want to go over the K+ rating. Again (Aaron).

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><p><strong>Fire and IceSteam/Cliche Title**

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><p>With a toothy smile Jiao-Jie watched the characters file into the room for the eighth installment of her "party." On her right hovered Ty Lee, who was clutching a piñata in the shape of Aang's head, and appeared as though she was about to burst from excitement. Another girl stood to Jiao-Jie's left, holding a large box filled with what appeared to be small paper bags, and wearing a large, eager grin.<p>

"OOOH a piñata!" exclaimed Sokka, but Ty Lee shoved him away with the stick.

"Not until after we finish today's scene," she chastised.

"Good morning!" Jiao-Jie yelled. "Everyone take a party favor!" She gestured to the box of paper bags in the arms of the new girl. Sokka giggled excitedly and snatched up a bag before heading over to a seat in the back of the room, followed by an amused Suki. Katara, her posture unusually slouched, ducked behind a dressing screen to prepare for the scene.

"Hey, who's she?" asked Toph suddenly, pointing an accusing figure at the new arrival as she munched on candy from her party bag.

The girl in question was average height with black hair and dark eyes, which now darted around nervously, as though looking for an escape route. The cardboard box was now empty and had been discarded behind her, so she fiddled with a skateboard at her feet.

"Yeah, you _know_ no new fangirls are allowed in here," said Zuko in his Fire Lord voice as he tried to fix his hair. The new author looked at the ground sadly, pushing her skateboard around with her trainer.

"None of you guys cared when Aaron was here," whined Jiao-Jie, crossing her arms.

"I think the key word in that sentence was _girls_," Mai drawled from behind Zuko. She sat cross-legged on a stool, her party bag sitting untouched beside her. "No one wants to scare off one of the 10 male writers in this fandom."

"Whatever, it's my party! This is Sofia—"

"Hello, Sofia!" exclaimed Uncle Iroh jovially. Aang waved at her sadly.

"Hey," replied Sofia with a smile, returning the Avatar's wave.

"—She's going to be helping me with this scene because it sort of made me want to vomit when I wrote it and she won the 50th reviewer prize," Jiao-Jie continued levelly.

"Imagine how I feel," said Katara from behind a dressing screen near the back of the set.

"Katara? Aren't you done getting dressed yet? You've been in there for like," Jiao-Jie glanced at her watch, which hadn't worked since she was doused in water four scenes ago. "…I dunno. A while."

Katara stepped out from behind the screen, wearing only her bending clothes and boots. She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at both of the authors.

"It'll be okay, Katara," Sofia offered quietly with a smile. It only made the irate waterbender narrow her eyes and the dark haired girl shrugged, sipping the tea Iroh had just poured her.

"Okay, places everyone!" chirped Jiao-Jie, ignoring Katara's irritation and clapping her hands, then slumping into a director's chair. Sofia rolled over to a similar one somehow not spilling her tea and still smiling widely, at least until she met Azula's threatening yet mildly amused gaze, which scared the happy right out of her. She slid down in her chair as the scene began.

Katara slumped against a tree. Her wrists were bound to the sides and also attached to the rope around her waist so she was unable to move her arms. It was painful to be this close to the river and yet unable to move enough to bend. _Like I'd be able to fight my way out anyway,_ she thought; the young woman was well aware that she was not yet the most experienced waterbender, and she was greatly outnumbered.

Looking down at her boots, Katara tried to hold back tears. They were more angry and frustrated than anything but there was no way she would let the soldiers and pirates who were milling around see her cry. It had been an entire day and the sun was now low in the sky, hovering just over the horizon. Katara found herself wondering what had happened to her friends. Obviously, she had refused to give away their location, but Zuko refused to leave, and refused to give up the waterbending scroll to the pirates. Somehow, the young woman had assumed that her friends would find her, but she was gradually giving up on that idea too.

Unbidden, memories from earlier in the day crept up to the forefront of her thoughts. She saw herself losing her cool and yelling at Aang. She remembered sneaking away to learn waterbending and she saw pirates rushing at her from all sides, then Prince Zuko. _'I'll save you from the pirates,'_ his voice echoed in her head.

Like he could hear her thoughts, the fire prince had now appeared before her. The waterbending scroll was stuck through his belt, his only leverage against the pirates, but in his hand he held a glass of water.

"What do _you_ want?" Katara spat, trying to squeeze as much venom as possible into each word.

"You must be thirsty," he said quietly. His voice was low and raspy, and somehow kind. Also, very manly.

"I'm not," she replied shortly. That wasn't true though. Being tied to a tree all day had left her muscles sore, her stomach growling and her throat terribly dry.

"You've been tied up here all day. Please, have something to drink," he held the water cup up. She couldn't help but imagine how cold and refreshing the water would be, and now, without her brain's agreement, she nodded. With both hands so as not to spill, Zuko held the water up to her parched lips and slowly poured the cool water down her throat until the cup was empty.

"Thank you," she said instinctively, forgetting who she was talking to.

"You're welcome." His eyes met hers and the good one widened slightly with surprise. In the sunset they were bright gold, and Katara felt her snotty retort die on her lips. She had never before taken the time to actually _look_ at Zuko. In all of their adventures had always been the boogie-man, but now, as she examined him, he seemed different. He seemed less…evil. Now she saw amber eyes, pale skin, and nicely sized lips that weren't too full; even the gruesome scar covering almost half of his face only seemed to add to his attractiveness.

Now Zuko broke their eye-contact, glancing down at the empty cup, and his cheeks turned slightly pink. Embarrassed, Katara realized that she had been staring and now felt her face heating up. Steel butterflies danced around in her stomach, and she wasn't sure if she felt like throwing up because she hadn't eaten all day, or because of what she'd been thinking about _Zuko,_ of all people_._ She looked everywhere but his face, fumbling for something to say.

"Well…I guess I'll just—" he started to say.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" interrupted Katara. She took a deep breath, trying to calm her heartbeat. _Why is it so awkward to actually talk to Zuko? I can fight him without batting an eyelash._

The question seemed to make him nervous and he spun the cup around in his hands and glanced around to be sure no one was watching. "Why not? I don't want to hurt you; I just need to capture the Avatar. It's…complicated."

"What's complicated about it?" she said, her voice becoming a note higher than usual. Her heart was still beating quickly and she was sure her face was still red, but she couldn't hold back her frustration.

"It's just something I need to do," he met her eyes again. "You wouldn't understand."

"You're right. I _don't_ understand." Katara glared daggers at him, and as Zuko turned to walk away, another idea materialized in her head. "Wait." The prince paused and turned back to face her. "I'll take you, alright," she used her best damsel in distress voice. It wasn't very good, but hopefully Zuko hadn't encountered very many distressed damsels. "Just untie me."

Now Zuko's good eye narrowed in suspicion, but he approached her again. "Why did you change your mind? You're not going to be able to run away." His usual stern and unfeeling tone was back and the waterbender was a bit ashamed to admit she was disappointed.

"I'm not going to try," she said. "You can't bring anyone else though, especially not the pirates, and I'll show you where our camp was."

She could almost see the gears turning behind the prince's eyes; would he agree and come alone? Would she, Aang and Sokka together be able to fight him off? Could she run away? Had her brother and the Avatar already left? Were they looking for her? The sun had now dipped below the mountains, giving everything in camp site in a blue-grey tinge. Fires were being lit and she heard an argument break out amongst the pirates. Eventually, Zuko's shoulders relaxed and he sighed, obviously coming to the conclusion that it was his only option; even though Zuko would normally be much more sensible than that the story needed him to be alone with Katara. He glanced back over his shoulder. No one seemed to be looking their way and Zuko's uncle was busy playing Pai Sho.

Katara felt a smile playing oh her lips as the prince gave another annoyed sigh, set the wooden cup down on the ground and took a step closer in order to untie her. She gasped with surprise, then instantly regretted it. Instead of untying one hand at a time, he had stepped forward and reached both arms around her at once. His chest pressed against hers. His armor was still warm from the sun and she wondered in the rational part of her brain if he even noticed he was touching her.

Her heart shot back into her throat. _Of course he knows, Katara. Stupid, stupid._ She could not feel her hands, but Zuko must have removed the ropes as she felt tingly spines in her hands when the blood rushed back in and feeling returned. It took Katara several seconds (that felt like hours) to gather her thoughts into anything coherent, but it was only to recognize the sensation of warm fingers brushing her wrist, a touch that sent electricity up her arm. Zuko had not stepped away yet.

Katara turned her head slightly to catch a glimpse of the prince out of the corner of her eye. He was looking back and her gaze dropped from his eyes to his lips, which were open slightly. Warm breath brushed her cheek, sending chills down her spine. Little did she know that Aang had long ago been eaten by an angry saber tooth moose lion, leaving Sokka to fend for himself in the wild when Appa flew away in angst, and meanwhile, in the Fire Nation, Mai was hit and tragically killed by a runaway palanquin.

"Hey…" whispered someone from the audience.

Zuko tilted his head slightly and their lips met. Part of her wanted to punch him, but the part that didn't win out and she let out a small sound of contentment as his hand slid up her arm and into her hair.

"Uhm…is Jiao-Jie okay?" the voice asked louder, pointing to the author who was sitting in her director's chair motionless and staring straight ahead.

Zuko and Katara broke the scene-kiss and squinted to see past the stage lights at what was happening with the others.

"OH MY LA! It was just getting good!" Ty Lee roared sweetly. "THEY WERE JUST ABOUT TO GET MARRIED." She tossed her handful of candy back into the open piñata and glared adorably at the one who had spoken: Sofia. She and Azula were in the middle of a rock paper scissors slap game, but she had been distracted at her friend's silence.

"I'm sorry it's just…she's been like that for a while now. Since Katara thought Zuko was attractive." Sofia turned to her friend whose eyes were wide and unblinking, then her head shot back to Ty Lee. "Wait, married? They just kissed?"

"Yes! In three paragraphs they would run away together since Aang is dead and Ozai destroys he world! They live happily ever after!" Ty Lee brandished her copy of the script like a flag. "It was going to be SO sweet."

Sofia raised an eyebrow at the acrobat as Katara gagged a little, and then gave Zuko a 'no offence' wave. He shrugged.

"Oh…I've seen this before," Sokka said, suddenly wearing his therapist beard and leaning over the comatose author. He shook Aang who had his eyes closed and was covering his ears. The Avatar opened his eyes and glanced around, realizing the scene was over.

"The chapter?" Aang asked. "Duh, all the stories are like this. I didn't even _watch_ and I could tell." He crossed his arms and might have been pouting just a little.

"Uh, no, Jiao-Jie," Sokka twirled his mustache.

"What is it?" Ty Lee asked.

"I think it's a shame coma," he stroked the beard.

"Didn't (author name censored) die of that when she was writing (story title censored)?" Mai droned. She now stood and walked over to examine the writer.

"Yeah, I think I heard of that too," added Toph, flicking the author's ear. Jiao-Jie didn't move.

"Well, I guess the scene's done, right?" asked Mai unnecessarily; Zuko and Katara had already left the stage. She whipped out a marker and scribbled a mustache on the motionless author's face.

"Is she gonna be okay?" Sofia asked, hugging her skateboard closer.

"I don't see why not," Sokka said, still bearded as he approached the refreshments, which today, were kebobs. "You know what the best thing about this party is? There's food at the end of every chapter." Toph nodded solemnly.


	10. Tacos and Comebacks

**A/N:** Hey there everyone! Here is the next installment of my party and I hope that you enjoy it! Thanks again for reading =].  
>You could review if you feel so inclined =P<p>

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><p><strong>Tacos and Comebacks<strong>

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><p>"So…" Sokka said to break the awkward silence. Most of the partygoers had not yet arrived, and without realizing it he was suddenly alone at the refreshments table with Mai, the only other one as interested in food as he was. Jiao-Jie sat off to the side, writing away on her laptop, while Toph dozed on the floor. Mai stared at him blankly. "Uhm...how about these..." he fumbled for something they had in common. <em>Zuko? No, that would be weird<em>. After several seconds of exponentially increasing discomfort all he could think of was the left-over party food from the night before, which was now becoming stale, "…chips?" All of the kebobs were gone, leaving only stale corn chips.

"What about them?" Mai asked, raising an eyebrow.

"They're…good?"

"They're okay." The two of them lapsed back into silence.

"Well," Sokka started again after a few minutes, "I guess I'd better go find Suki." He turned to walk away and in the process, noticed what was on Jiao-Jie's computer screen. "Are you writing this down?" he asked, shocked.

"Yep," she replied, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Oh…uh, why?" he tilted his head to the side, and went to scratch his head before realizing he still held a handful of chips in each hand and stopping himself. "Isn't that kind of boring?"

"Absolutely," affirmed Jiao-Jie, although she was still typing.

"Oh…alright?" Sokka shot a disbelieving glance at Mai, who shrugged.

"Hey, when you find Suki can you tell her I need her for the next scene?"

"Yeah, yeah sure thing," the young warrior called behind him as the door fell shut.

"Do you think he is really gonna get her?" Jiao-Jie asked Mai, ceasing her writing for a moment to turn around and face the other girl.

Mai couldn't help but smirk as the author still donned the marker mustache. "Who cares?"

Several hours later, Sokka reappeared with Suki in tow. Both of them wore superhero T-shirts and had armfuls of souvenirs including a tube of sour powder. "We're here now, you can start the party!" exclaimed Sokka. Ty Lee leapt up from her position on the floor where she had been stretching and jabbed the Water Tribe boy sharply in the arm, which went limp.

"You guys are late! You're ruining my party!" she whined stomping her foot.

"Yeah you said you would be back hours ago! Wait…_Your_ party?" Jiao-Jie asked, turning to Ty Lee. She stood and placed her hands on her hips. "Wait..." she turned back to the latecomers once again. "Did you guys go to Six Flags?"

Suki gave the room an apologetic look and a nervous laugh, then elbowed her boyfriend in the ribs. "Yeah…I sort of forgot you wanted us to come back and then foaming mouth guy offered us free tickets. At least I think he did…there was a lot of foam. But how could we say no?" he asked, drawing swirls on the floor with his toe.

"Well, you're just in time for tacos!" exclaimed Ty Lee, suddenly cheerful again and gesturing to the new refreshments table.

"SOKKA DOESN'T GET ANY TACOS," Jiao-Jie raged. Sokka gave her a look like she had ripped his heart out as Suki slipped off to the table to begin building her tacos and Aang shoved a whole one into his mouth.

"N-no tacos?" asked the Water Tribe boy. He looked over the author's shoulder, and she spread her arms out, waving them around to block his view.

"Hey, finally something interesting is happening," Mai said quietly to Azula.

"Maybe they're going to fight?" she whispered back.

Jiao-Jie shook her head and Sokka narrowed his eyes. "You should know never to get between me and tacos," he said seriously. "Don't you remember what happened to the cabbage man during the Burrito Incident?" The two both stood their ground, staring at the other unblinking. Mai smirked.

Finally the writer dropped her arms. "Fine, you can have a taco. Only if you are in my next scene without whining," she said. "Oh, and you need to give me that Batman teddy bear."

"DEAL," he shoved the bear into her arms then rushed past her and the other characters, knocking Zuko's plate out of his hands in the process.

"Hey..." Zuko said, staring at his spilled food; he had large bags under his eyes and apparently hadn't gotten much sleep the night before. With a screech Momo landed and started picking out the meat. Zuko sighed in a very Zukoish way and returned to the table to refill.

"Well…that was stupid," Azula commented.

"Kind of anticlimactic," added Mai.

Several minutes later the group sat around a huge table, quietly eating tacos, stale chips and bean dip.

"So…" Aang finally said to break the silence.

"Yeah," Katara finished for him. "Are we going to do a scene today or something?"

Jiao-Jie shrugged, clutching her new bear under one arm. "I don't think so. I'm kind of enjoying the tacos."

"Well…why are we here then?" asked the Avatar.

"Don't you like tacos?" the author countered, raising an eyebrow.

"Who doesn't?" contributed Sokka who had eaten at least ten.

"Well yeah, I like tacos but this feels a little bit pointless. It isn't much of a bad fanfiction party if there is no bad fanfiction involved."

"It's kind of boring," Mai added.

"You think everything is boring," accused Ty Lee.

"Yeah, but this is _actually_ boring," declared the gloomy girl. Ty Lee blinked at her friend and then shrugged.

"It's kind of a meta-chapter," Jiao-Je explained, cleaning her part of the table of spilled taco innards and pulling her laptop out of her bag.

"What does 'meta' mean?" Ty Lee stared at her co-host blankly.

"Don't worry about it."

Aang frowned, using a fork to push his leftover taco ingredients around. "Actually, tacos are kind of lame if you don't eat meat," he commented. "It's just salad and salsa in a tortilla. Maybe I _don't _like tacos," he said thoughtfully.

Sokka and Toph stared at him incredulously. "Maybe you should just drop the vegetarian thing and eat meat like a real man?" Toph suggested, feigning a kind tone. Sokka nodded seriously, and shoved another taco in his mouth.

"Toph, I've explained this to you before. Vegetarianism is a tradition among the monks. It's part of living in harmony with nature and not harming any other living creatures."

"I'm stawtiw to gew wowwied abouw youw. I don undewdand how-" Sokka said through his food, before seeming to inhale a piece of carne asada and launching into a coughing fit.

Suki patted him hard on the back as he swallowed the rest of the taco and managed to catch his breath. "Remember what we said about chewing our food?" she asked kindly. He nodded, looking regretful.

"If you're not writing a story, I don't actually even have to be here," Azula proclaimed with crossed arms. She slid her untouched plate to her right to sit in front of Mai.

Ty Lee gasped and looked at her friend. Tears welled up in her eyes. "But Azula, what about my party? You're not going to leave, are you?"

The princess glared at her friend for nearly a minute before scoffing and taking her plate back, earning her an angry look from Mai, but Ty Lee pulled her into a hug. "Fine, whatever."

"Seriously, what's the point of this?" Zuko asked, sounding annoyed. "I have other, much more important, things that I could be doing."

"Like what, Zu-zu? Waiting for Legend of Korra to start?" his sister retorted. "Please…none of us are busy, anymore."

He fumbled for a moment, his face blank. "Shut up," he finally said, glancing around awkwardly.

"Wow. That was hurtful. You really showed me."

"Seriously, Zuko, that was kinda lame," Sokka stated. The Fire Lord shot him an angry glare but he didn't seem to notice.

"He's right, Sparky. Next time try something a little more personal like, 'Aren't _you_ busy with being a psycho?' or 'I actually have things to do with my life _besides_ being insane,'" Toph explained. Azula narrowed her eyes.

"Watch it, savage."

"See what I mean?"

"Oh, finally," Jiao-Jie exclaimed, sighing with relief.

"What? We finally taught Zuko how comebacks work?" asked Toph.

"Well, you didn't really," Katara explained, nudging Aang who was dozing off.

"No, my chapter is finally over one thousand words. That's the minimum I tell people a chapter needs to be so I really needed to be sure I followed my own advice."

"What chapter? I thought you said we weren't doing one?" Suki asked, passing her leftovers to her boyfriend who gave her the most loving look any guy had ever given a girl.

Jiao-Jie gestured to her computer. "Meta-chapter," she explained.

"Er…okaaay," Katara said, giving the author a worried look.

"Long boring chapters?" Jiao-Jie asked the group. "You know, the ones where literally nothing important happens for the entire thing, it's just filler?" A sound of understanding moved around the table. The cast was intimately familiar with boring chapters. "I really had hoped to get up to at least two thousand words, since usually they're even a lot longer than that but…this is just so boring. Even _with_ the tacos."

"_This_ is your chapter?" Mai asked raising one eyebrow infinitesimally. "Wow. That _is_ boring, even for you."

"Are you sure anyone's going to read it?" inquired Ty Lee seriously. "I just don't want anyone to think I'm a bad party host because of your boring chapter. That would be _so_ embarrassing."

Jiao-Jie rolled her eyes. "I'm sure it won't reflect badly on you. I hope someone reads it, but I guess I wouldn't really blame them if they stopped after around the time…" she scrolled up, "around the time Sokka and I didn't fight."

"Yeah, that was disappointing," Aang added. "We could have all chosen sides and had like a brawl or something." Toph's eyebrows shot up and she grinned. An excited and more than slightly sadistic smile appeared on Azula's lips.

Jiao-Jie eyed the characters nervously. "Why do I feel like no one would have picked my side?"

"I'd pick your side!" Ty Lee exclaimed. Then she seemed to think better of it. "But only if Azula was on your side too."

One look at Azula's grin told Jiao-Jie all she needed to know. "Well that can't happen," she quickly explained, clearing her throat, "because that would have been something interesting and mildly entertaining. I wouldn't have been able to make my long boring chapter point."

"It's not that long," Katara stated, leaning over the author's shoulder and pointing to the word count on the bottom left of her screen.

"You know what I mean."

"Euugh," Sokka moaned. "I feel sick." He flopped forward and laid his head on his arms, which rested on the table.

"Maybe stop at thirteen tacos next time?" Suki rubbed small his back in small circles. He nodded but said nothing aside from a pained groan.

Jiao-Jie snapped her laptop closed. "Well, that's a wrap!" She grinned. "Ty Lee, did you request the room for the instant messaging chapter?"

"Er…" the acrobat's eyes went shifty. "I guess I'll go do that now." She sprang up as Jiao-Jie slapped her forehead.

"Oh please, take me with you," Mai asked, standing up. Zuko gave her a pained look but quickly returned to his thumb wrestling match with Aang.

"Hooray!" Ty Lee hugged Mai again then grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the door.

"This is the worst party I've ever been to," Mai deadpanned on her way out.


End file.
